Funny Defensive Driving

A person has a large number of options across Texas when looking for a defensive driving class, but as that person limits what he or she would like from a defensive driving class, the options become more and more limited as well. A person can easily remove several options from his or her list just by looking at the price that some defensive driving course providers require a student to pay which can range anywhere from $25 to $69 even though all of them offer the same information and the same result. Once a person determines the distance he or she must travel to reach the defensive driving classroom, many more defensive driving course providers can be removed from his or her list of options... Unless he or she is just really looking for a reason to have a state-wide road trip. A person should also consider the tone of the defensive driving class he or she plans to take. The defensive driving class can be very serious and monotone or very funny and relaxed. Regardless of which tone is chosen for a defensive driving class, each student must be in the class for six hours by Texas law. Unless a person is just really attached to the idea that a defensive driving class is supposed to be punishment for his or her ticket then a funny, relaxed defensive driving class is the way to go.

Whether a person chooses a defensive driving class that is serious and monotone or funny and relaxed, the lowest price the person will be required to pay is $25. By Texas lax, a defensive driving course provider must charge at least $25. There are defensive driving course providers that charge a lot more than $25 and many of them don't even offer the defensive driving course in a funny manner. It doesn't make much sense for a person to pay more money than he or she has to pay for a very serious and boring class that doesn't have to be serious and boring. The logical way to go is to pay the lowest price possible with the most entertaining and educational method of delivery. There's no reason to relive the boring and annoying days of high school where your teachers nagged you constantly and you fought against the forces of nature to stay awake through a never-ending lecture or outdated video.

So once a person has tossed out all defensive driving course providers who charge outrageous prices and that don't offer the course using a funny method of instruction as well as any defensive driving classrooms that are too far away to be within a reasonable driving distance or a defensive driving course provider that offers the funny course over the internet, the list has likely gotten extraordinarily short. It probably consists of one or two places that are solely defensive driving course providers and possibly a comedy club or two that also offers defensive driving classes. In the Houston area, the cheapest on that list will undoubtedly be Comedy Driving, Inc., which offers a funny course online as well as a course with a live instructor in four different classrooms in and around the Houston area of which are close to virtually every side of Houston: Katy, League City, Sugar Land and Willowbrook. Every defensive driving class is taught by a trained comedian and the online course has many contributions from trained comedians so regardless of how a person decides to take the defensive driving class, there sure to have a good time while learning how to be a better driver.

When it's possible, every moment in the classroom of a defensive driving class with humor is crafted to be both education and entertaining, but serious behavior is applied when serious behavior is necessary. For instance, when handling the Certificate of Completion a person receives for completing the defensive driving class which involves passing a test at the end of the class, it's treated with the utmost serious approach. The Certificate of Completion must be mailed to you. By Texas law, defensive driving course providers are not allowed to hand a Certificate of Completion to anyone in person. It must be mailed to each person who completes the course. If a person waits until the last minute to take the defensive driving course and needs it sooner than the allotted one to seven days that it could take to get to his or her address, most defensive driving course providers also provide expedited shipping for delivery of your Certificate of Completion which could shorten the delivery time from one to seven days to one to two days or even next day delivery, but you'll have to incur an additional cost for the expedited delivery. Before going through the entire six-hour course, each person that needs his or her Certificate of Completion in a hurry should check with the defensive driving course provider to find out if expedited shipping is offered.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Underage Drinking and Driving

If you’re a minor, meaning you're under 21 years of age, and found to be in possession of alcohol, you may face up to a $500 fine, 30–180 days of your driver's license being suspended, eight to 40 hours of community service, and mandatory alcohol-awareness classes. A minor in possession begets major punishment.
Any amount of beer, wine or liquor found in the system of or possessed by a minor can trigger these penalties. This is known as the Zero Tolerance law in Texas. A second or third offense can lead to suspension of your driver license for 60 to 180 days. If you’re 17 or older, you also can be fined as much as $2,000 and go to jail for up to 180 days for a third offense. Time to ditch that lucky beer bottle cap from your key chain!
If you're a parent then be a good example for your children: don’t drink and drive. Remind your children to call you if they’re ever in an uncomfortable situation. Teach them never to get in a car with someone who’s been drinking. Also, teach the people who they're getting into cars with to not drink while they drive.
Furnishing alcohol to someone under 21 can lead to a $4,000 fine and up to a year in jail. Selling alcohol to a minor is a Class A misdemeanor, which can bring a $4,000 fine and land the seller a year in jail.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Faces of Distracted Driving

I ran into this website: www.distraction.gov,
which is dedicated to the awareness of distracted drivers.

•In 2009, there were 30,797 fatal crashes in the United States, which involved 45,230 drivers. In those crashes 33,808 people died.
•In 2009, 5,474 people were killed in crashes involving driver distraction (16% of total fatalities).
•The proportion of fatalities reportedly associated with driver distraction increased from 10 percent in 2005 to 16 percent in 2009. During that time, fatal crashes with reported driver distraction also increased from 10 percent to 16 percent.
•The portion of drivers reportedly distracted at the time of the fatal crashes increased from 7 percent in 2005 to 11 percent in 2009.
•The under-20 age group had the highest proportion of distracted drivers involved in fatal crashes (16%). The age group with the next greatest proportion of distracted drivers was the 20- to-29-year-old age group – 13 percent of all 20-to-29-year-old drivers in fatal crashes were reported to have been distracted.
•Of those drivers reportedly distracted during a fatal crash, the 30-to-39-year-old drivers were the group with the greatest proportion distracted by cell phones. Cell phone distraction was reported for 24 percent of the 30-to-39-year-old distracted drivers in fatal crashes.
•Light-truck drivers and motorcyclists had the greatest percentage of total drivers reported as distracted at the time of the fatal crash (12% each). Bus drivers had the lowest percentage (6%) of total drivers involved in fatal crashes that were reported as distraction-related.
•An estimated 20 percent of 1,517,000 injury crashes were reported to have involved distracted driving in 2009.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Web-Based Driving Safety Courses in Texas

The most convenient and cheapest option for driver safety courses in Texas are those that are web-based. While it may lack the entertainment value that comedic classroom-based driving safety courses provide, it's better for some Texans to sit in the comfort of their own living room or office and listen to as well as watch a driving safety course on their computer screen than attend a live class with a licensed driving instructor who may or may not be versed in comedic performance as well. For those Texans, there are an abundance of options available of which don't really vary in price or convenience, but often vary in experience. Without doing some research, a person really can't know which option is going to offer the best experience for him or her.

The price of web-based driving safety courses across Texas vary little from provider to provider. By running a Google search using, “web-based driving safety course in Texas” as your search terms, you'll notice that every driving safety course provider that turns up in the results offers their web-based driving safety course for twenty-five dollars. By state law, the lowest price any driving safety course provider can offer for a driving safety course, whether web-based or classroom-based, is twenty-five dollars. For classroom-based driving safety courses, schools generally charge anywhere from $29 such as at Comedy Driving, Inc., to as much as $59 at other driving safety course providers. Some driving safety course providers distribute coupons for a discount on their classroom-based driving safety courses which may decrease the price to $25 such as it does at Comedy Driving, Inc., classroom-based driving safety courses, but not every driving safety course provider distributes such a coupon and those that do may not decrease the price the $25 that is required as the minimum by Texas law. You'll only find driving safety courses that start at $25 without any sort of coupon or discount by taking a web-based driving safety course.

The distance from the course provider to the address where you'd like to have your Certificate of Completion mailed probably won't be a huge factor in your decision of what web-based driving safety course provider to use. While most driving safety course providers state to allow one to seven days for delivery of your Certificate of Completion, you'll most likely receive it much sooner than seven days. If close by, two to three days is more likely albeit never guaranteed. Taking a web-based driving safety course from a driving safety course provider that is located on the opposite side of Texas from where you're located could potentially take significantly longer than a driving safety course provider that is within no more than a few hours driving distance from your location.

Most web-based driving safety courses are designed to fit your schedule so that they're as convenient as possible. Since you're given unique login identification and a password, you're able to login at anytime, day or night, and you can logout to take breaks anytime. When you logout during the web-based driving safety course, your progress is saved so you can step away for hours or even days at a time and finish it later when you some free time or just want something to use to kill some time at work. When choosing a web-based driving safety course, you can choose between completely serious or funny at every opportunity available. Just as some driving safety course providers have their classroom-based courses taught by comedians, they also provide a web-based driving safety course that has contributions from actual comedians to make the web-based driving safety course as funny as possible.

Once you complete a web-based driving safety course which includes a test you must pass at the end of the course, a Certificate of Completion will be mailed to you with has your information that your provided printed on it so that it's ready for you to take to the court where your ticket is being handled. If you only took the web-based driving safety course for insurance purposes then you'll receive a copy of the Certificate of Completion specifically for your insurance company.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Defensive Driving Comedy Class Online in Texas, How to take a easy comedy Tx defensive driving class online, Comedy Driving Safety Class Online in Texas, Simple Funny Traffic School Online in Texas. Comedy Driving offers simple, fun online defensive driving and online driving safety classes in Texas online and in the classrooms. http://www.comedydriving.com, http://www.comedyoffensivedriving.com, http://www.comedydrivingsafetycourse.com

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Construction Zones

Each year in Texas, there are approximately 15,000 crashes and more than 100 people killed in highway construction and maintenance zones. The two leading causes of work zone crashes are excessive speed and the failure to remain alert while driving. As a result, one in three work zone crashes is a rear-end collision. In 2009, there were 3,871 distracted driving crashes in Texas work zones, involving 7,837 vehicles. These distracted driver crashes resulted in 27 fatalities. Don't mistake the orange barrels for slalom poles. They're not meant for you to weave in and out of them. They're meant to separate you and the workers from danger.
At any one time, there can be more than 1,000 Texas highway work zones in operation. With so much construction, motorists frequently encounter work zones. Please keep the following tips in mind when driving through work zones:
 Slow down and always follow posted work zone speed limits. Speeding is one of the major causes of work zone crashes. Remember, traffic fines double in work zones.
 Pay attention. Workers and heavy equipment may only be a few feet from passing vehicles.
 Be patient. Delays from highway construction can be frustrating, but it only takes a few extra minutes to slow down for a work zone.
 Plan ahead. Leave a few minutes early when traveling through a work zone in order to reach your destination on time.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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ACCIDENTS INVOLVING PERSONAL INJURY OR DEATH

The operator of a vehicle involved in an accident resulting in injury to or death of a person shall immediately stop the vehicle at the scene of the accident or as close to the scene as possible, immediately return to the scene of the accident if the vehicle is not stopped at the scene of the accident and remain at the scene of the accident until the operator complies with the requirements of rendering aid as stated by the Texas Transportation Code. It's called a “scene” because some people like to act like they're injured and you really should get back there as quickly as possible so they don't have a chance to make up a story for their one-man play.
An operator of a vehicle required to stop the vehicle must do so without obstructing traffic more than is necessary. If it can be moved by your own means then you should move it. Otherwise, unless you happen to have Superman in your back pocket to move your upside-down vehicle to the side of the road, you should just get yourself out of the way of traffic as quickly as possible.
A person commits an offense if the person does not stop or otherwise comply with the laws for rendering aid and accidents involving personal injury or death. Such an offense is punishable by imprisonment in the institutional division of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice for not more than five years or confinement in the county jail for not more than one year, a fine not to exceed $5,000 or both the fine and the imprisonment or confinement. Stick around at the scene of the accident and help out where you can so you can use that time and money to get your clunker fixed.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Smart Phone, Dumb Driver

Have you ever been stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway and thought, “I wish I knew what was goin' on up there?” Of course, you have. That's what everyone thinks when they're struck in traffic. As if by knowing what's going on will somehow make it all go away and you can continue on you way.
These days there are actually quite a few tools most people have at their disposal that could help them find out that sort of information. Although, most of the tools are the very same thing that cause the accidents that, in turn, cause the traffic to be backed up so badly. These tools are your cell phones. There are a lot of great uses for a cell phone when you're driving: GPS, traffic updates and taking pointless pictures of yourself driving to put on Facebook instead of having both hands on the wheel to make sure you don't become the cause of the traffic being locked-in at a standstill.
When you're using one of the tools on your smartphone to find out about the traffic in your area, you should only do so when your car isn't and shouldn't be moving. Do it in your driveway or in a parking lot before you get moving. Stop some place away from traffic like a gas station or restaurant to double-check the information or update the route on your GPS. There's no point is having a smartphone that has all those capabilities if you're just going to make dumb decisions. Be smarter than your phone.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Vehicles and Equipment Subject to Inspection

A motor vehicle, trailer, semitrailer or pole trailer registered in Texas must have the following items inspected at an inspection station or by an inspector: tires, wheel assembly, safety guards or flaps (if required by the Texas Transportation Code), brake system (including power brake unit), steering system (including power steering), lighting equipment, horns and warning devices, mirrors, windshield wipers, sunscreening devices (unless the vehicle is exempt from sunscreen device restrictions under the Texas Transportation Code), front seat belts in vehicles on which seat belt anchorages were part of the manufacturer's original equipment, tax decal (if required by the Texas Transportation Code), exhaust system, exhaust emission system, fuel tank cap using pressurized testing equipment approved by rule of the Department of Public Safety and emissions control equipment as designated by the DPS. Inspector Gadget and Inspector Clousseau are not permitted to conduct motor vehicle inspections for you.
A moped is subject to inspection in the same manner as a motorcycle, except that the only items of equipment required to be inspected are the brakes, headlamps, rear lamps, and reflectors, which must comply with the standards prescribed by the Texas Transportation Code. Not all vehicles are created equal. Just like people, some are cooler than others so they don't have to go through the same hassle.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Comedydriving.com Video Contest!

Need some extra cash to payback your Grandmother? - either way ComedyDriving.com is conducting a
Video Contest that could allow you to win some serious cash!

2011 Official Contest Rules

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. A PURCHASE WILL NOT IMPROVE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. HOWEVER IT WILL MAKE OUR ACCOUNTANTS HAPPY!
First Place $ 1,000.00
Second Place $ 500.00
Third Place $ 250.00
Fourth Place $ 150.00
Fifth Place $ 100.00

Entrants must submit an original video ranging from 1-5 minutes in length on one or more issues or topics relating to comedy and driving safety. Here are some additional requirements:

Video should be created after June 1, 2011
Length should be from 1 to 5 minutes
Topic/Material should be comedic in nature and relating to driving safety
Include a Title at the beginning, before the video starts
Conclude with the Director's / Producer's name
Include Actors names and role in the credits
Include contact information with submission
The content should be original and have not been submitted to any other contest.
Work to be created or compiled by the person or group entering the video and not contain credits, company names, logos, trademarks, or watermarks

In addition any contestant's original video idea that is utilized by Comedy Driving Inc. on their educational website, in whole or in part, will receive a payment for such services in the amount of $50.

Please be advised once media content is submitted into the contest, it becomes property of Comedy Driving Inc. At that point any creative content / original ideas / /images of the videos can be utilized to enhance Comedy Driving Inc's existing educational online platforms. Comedy Driving Inc. will only be uploading the most engaging media content online so please send us your best stuff! Contest entries with questionable content may be rejected, meaning any content that violates Comedy Driving media policies will be deemed ineligible.This includes but is not limited to the following:

The video should convey effective ways to improve driver safety for Texas drivers and may not contain any work (in whole or in part), which is the subject of a copyright or infringes the intellectual property rights of any third party. Video must not include anything that is inappropriate for publication (such as, profanity, nudity, pornographic, graphic or sexually explicit content, hate speech, illegal conduct, animal abuse, drug abuse, any form of racism or gratuitous violence). Video must address the contest theme and must not have been submitted to any other competition or contest, or have received an award prior to submission as an entry in this contest. Video must be the original work created on or after June 1st 2011.

Acceptable Formats & Hard Copies

Video Format

Comedy Driving will be uploading all acceptable media content to the Comedy Driving Youtube channel.
Be advised Comedy Driving aims to showcase only the most entertaining, educational and humorous videos online.
The best image format is dot.mov file or dot.mp4

Hard Copies

External Hard Drive
Memory Stick
Data CD/DVD
E-mail (if file is small enough) submission@comedydriving.com

Contest Deadlines

Winners will be announced at the end of the year - December 31, 2011 on the Comedy Driving Facebook Page. For any questions or concerns contact us via email at jeff@comedydriving.com or comedydriving@comedydriving.com

The Comedy Driving management team will judge video entries on the effectiveness of the driving safety message (25%), popularity (like's on YouTube) (25%), creativity/originality (25%); and humorous content (25%)

To enter the contest, access the website www.comedydriving.com/contest during the contest period, complete the official entry form that is located on that page and submit the video as directed. Entry must be submitted no later than 11:59 PM Central Time on October 31, 2011. There will be a limit of five entries per person. Entries become the property of Comedy Driving Inc. and will not be returned.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Do You Still Love Your Car?

If you have the following symptons... You still have the fever
◦ you take pictures of it
◦ you park it to look sexy, even though no one notices but you
◦ you look back at it every time as you leave the parking lot
◦ when you see the other cars on the street, they just dont compare
◦ you wipe off bird $**! with your own fingers
◦ you still squat down to admire its different angles
◦ when you drive it, even the worst days are great days
◦ even when it's dirty, it's still beautiful to your eyes
◦ when you get back into your car after driving your girlfriend's/boyfriend's car, you're amazed at how truly awesome your car is


and finally....

◦ you never, EVER valet park it!

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Drive Safely

Have you ever asked yourself, "Do I drive safely?"... Driving can be a very stressful experience. So if you answered yourself with "I am the SAFEST", you have probably have taken an Aggressive Driving Class and are currently in denial. So let me remind you it's important to avoid engaging in aggressive driving behaviors, such as speeding, running red lights, quick lane changing and failure to yield, especially as an aggressive driving act can trigger an unwanted response, it might bring out the Mel Gibson in you which sometimes even escalates into road rage, a criminal act of assault.

Aggressive driving behaviors are a factor in up to 56% of fatal crashes. Additionally, nearly 90% of drivers view aggressive driving as very serious or somewhat serious threat to their own safety.

TIPS:

Do NOT give them the finger, even though it may feel good.
Avoid cutting drivers off just so they can read your bumper stickers, but if you have to please apologize.
Avoid tailgating and honking the horn
Avoid making inappropriate or offensive gestures

Steer clear of other aggressive drivers
Avoid giving them the pretty eyes
Don't be too afraid to call 911 if you're being followed

Leave yourself enough time when heading out
Put yourself in the other driver's shoes, even if they don't fit
Take a deep breath and remember to take it further will only worsten the situation.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Pilots vs. Mechanics

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then
pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

In case you were not aware, it takes a college degree to pilot an airplane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those who fly routinely in their jobs.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P)and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Never Drink and Drive.

You must have heard of stories about accidents caused by drunken drivers. It is a fact that alcohol and drugs are substances that when taken in excessive amounts, greatly affect your judgment and reflexes. However, in spite of all the reminders, warnings and advertisements to that effect, many people still choose not to take heed. It is a pity because this is something the individual has total control of.
Incidentally this applies to whatever drink you have. In Australia you are not really supposed to drink a can of coke while driving. If a police car happens to be behind your car and they see you drinking they CAN pull you over and give you a ticket, or at the very least a warning. Why? Simply because you have one hand on the steering wheel and for a few seconds, you may not even be looking at the road. Accidents happen in those few seconds your distracted.
Fortunately for you it is still legal here in Texas to drink a coke while driving and not get a ticket, but of course it is not recommended to hold ANYTHING at all while you are driving.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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What is Click it or Ticket?

I'm sure you have heard of the Texas slogan "Click it or Ticket", but may not be familiar with the actual law behind it. The law is as follows: If you are driving a passenger vehicle and someone under the age of 17 is not in a seat belt or car seat (which is required for children under 5 who are also shorter than 4′10″) you are liable to obtain a ticket that may range between $100 and $200. These tickets are given to the driver, not to the passenger. An interesting fact is that when the passenger is age 15 or 16 they can be ticketed as well as the driver.

If you are age 15 and over and in a passenger vehicle without your seat belt on, you are liable to obtain a ticket that may range between $25 and $50. These tickets will be given to the person not wearing the seat belt, not to the driver.

6 Exceptions to the “Click It or Ticket” Rule:

1.if you are operating as an employee of the US Postal Service
2.if you are operating for a utility company and reading meters
3.you are operating a trash truck.
4.if you have a doctor’s note that specfically states you do not have to wear a seat belt
5.if you are driving a commercial farm vehicle under 48,000 pounds
6.if you are delivering newspapers

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Do Cops Have Quotas?

Many people believe in the Myth that cops have to reach a quota of traffic citations issued, and so by the end of a certain month they start pulling over as much people as they can to reach said quota. What people are not aware of is that it is actually ILLEGAL, and we have provided the actual law to prove it:

Sec. 720.002. PROHIBITION ON TRAFFIC-OFFENSE QUOTAS. (a) A political subdivision or an agency of this state may not establish or maintain, formally or informally, a plan to evaluate, promote, compensate, or discipline:

(1) a peace officer according to the officer's issuance of a predetermined or specified number of any type or combination of types of traffic citations; or

(2) a justice of the peace or a judge of a county court, statutory county court, municipal court, or municipal court of record according to the amount of money the justice or judge collects from persons convicted of a traffic offense.

(b) A political subdivision or an agency of this state may not require or suggest to a peace officer, a justice of the peace, or a judge of a county court, statutory county court, municipal court, or municipal court of record:

(1) that the peace officer is required or expected to issue a predetermined or specified number of any type or combination of types of traffic citations within a specified period; or

(2) that the justice or judge is required or expected to collect a predetermined amount of money from persons convicted of a traffic offense within a specified period.

(c) Repealed by Acts 2009, 81st Leg., R.S., Ch. 737, Sec. 1, eff. June 19, 2009.

(d) This section does not prohibit a municipality from obtaining budgetary information from a municipal court or a municipal court of record, including an estimate of the amount of money the court anticipates will be collected in a budget year.

(e) A violation of this section by an elected official is misconduct and a ground for removal from office. A violation of this section by a person who is not an elected official is a ground for removal from the person's position.

(f) In this section:

(1) "Conviction" means the rendition of an order by a court imposing a punishment of incarceration or a fine.

(2) "Traffic offense" means an offense under:

(A) Chapter 521; or

(B) Subtitle C.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Bike-Cop Unsafe Driver?

An officer on a motorcycle in the California Highway Patrol had a somewhat cushioned fall after crashing directly into a convertible that crossed his path and landing in the backseat. Let this serve as a reminder that all bikers must excercise extreme caution when out on the road.

(Motorcycle accidents can occur because of bad weather such as rain, snow, sleet and because of bad road conditions such as oil slicks, potholes, and tree limbs.)

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Is it illegal to text while driving in Texas?

Texas drivers under the age of 18 are prohibited from using wireless communications devices, i.e. cellphones, PDA, iPad
Learners permit holders are prohibited from using handheld cell phones in the first six months of driving.
Texas school bus operators are prohibited from using cell phones while driving if children are present.
Texas drivers are prohibited from using handheld devices in school crossing zones, when there are signs posted.
The Texas cities that have established local distracted driving laws are West University Place, Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, Amarillo, Galveston, El Paso, Missouri City and Stephenville.
Be aware as of September 2011 there will be new cities added, and potentially a ban for the entire state of Texas for using wireless communications devices and/or texting while driving

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

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Diarrhea is No Excuse

On October 31 a court in Sweden rejected the plea of a 49-year-old woman, who said that she had no choice but to drive at the speed of 53 mph in a 43 mph zone because she was suffering with diarrhea. The court stated that the only permissable way to surpass the speed limit is in cases of a dire emergency, for example, someones life being in dange or rushing to prevent a serious crime. A digestive issue is not sufficient reason for anyone to break the posted speed limit while driving.

She was ordered to pay her speeding ticket.

This story may have occured in Sweden, but the law still applies in Texas.
Take care of business before getting behind the wheel.

So if you have uncontrollable bowel movements and find yourself getting a ticket in Texas, visit www.ComedyDriving.com

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Taking Parking to a Whole Different Level

How about parking your vehicle on a freeway in heavy fog, for some love?
A young couple in love, driving with heavy traffic and thick fog along Via Dutra, which happens to be the largest freeway in Brazil, decided that this was the time to park their vehicle. (for "dating" according to the interesting Google translation) Believe it or not, they parked on the freeway in the right-hand lane, no not on the shoulder, no not the median, no not at a gas station. Soon enough a cargo truck encountered the "speed bump(couple's car)," instantly killing both -- during the act of procreation -- This would be a double-double Darwin Award! Two people making two obviously bad decisions, and natural selection acts at the very moment the two are reproducing. This has to be published in the Darwin Awards Best of Edition! The Comedy Driving Inc defensive driving moral is listed below check us out at comedydriving.com
CDI Moral of the story - never park your vehicle on either side of the freeway ... any time, especially in an actual lane during foggy conditions.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Possible Speed Limit Raise to 85-mph!

Texas may have the highest speed limit in the entire nation pretty soon, the Texas House approved a new bill on Thursday, April 7, that would allow the state to raise speed limits to 85-mph on some highways during the day. These highways are not in major metropolitan area, and the Senate is in the process of passing a similar bill to correspond.

Texas already has 80-mph speed limit on more than 520 miles of highway. The Texas Department of Transportation would be required to perform engineering and traffic studies to determine whether the 85-mph speed limit is appropriate.

Of course, with such high speeds safety concerns arise. Not only that but driving at moderate speeds is more economic, tests have shown that driving at 55 mph instead of 65 or 75 provides significantly better gas mileage. With gas prices at their current levels, that should be a concern for just about everyone.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Water in the Carburetor

Girlfriend: "There's trouble with the Porsche. It has water in the carburetor"
Boyfriend: "Water in the carburetor? That's just silly"
Girlfriend: "I tell you the Porsche has water in the carburetor."
Boyfriend: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the Porsche?"
Girlfriend: "In the lake out back."

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

Speeding...?

A police officer flags down a car for speeding.
This conversation followed with the driver…
Officer: May I see your driver’s license sir?
Driver: I’d let you- if I had one. It was suspended when I got my 8th DUI.
Officer: uh ok.. May I see the insurance for this vehicle?
Driver: Umm it’s not my car. I just stole it from a Wal-Mart.
Officer: You stole it??
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the insurance in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there!
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?!
Driver: Yes sirr. That’s where I put it after i shot and killed the woman at the Wal-Mart and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Of course, sir!
(Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation):
Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure thing officer! Here it is.
(It was valid)
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the insurance and owners card.
(The driver owned the car)
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: A gun?? Yes, sir, I will open it, but i assure you there’s no gun!
(Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.)
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: WHAT!?  Here look for yourself sir!
(Trunk is opened; no body)
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk!
Driver: Really?!?!? Ain’t that something?! And I’ll bet that lying sucker told you I was speeding, too huh!!

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook

A Funny Texas Defensive Driving Course Thats No Joke

If you are ever required to take a certified 6-hour defensive driving course there is no reason you can't have fun while doing it!
ComedyDriving.com is an online course brought to you by professional comedians with years of entertainment experience. This course was designed from the ground up to be both educational and enjoyable.
And of course it is 100 % STATE APPROVED!
Our course allows you to take your required defensive driving class online, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Comedy Driving.com is an online Texas defensive driving course that you can take to have your traffic ticket dismissed. In addition, you may be able to get your insurance rates reduced by up to 10% by taking our online defensive driving course. Please contact your insurance agent for more details to that regard.

Comedy Driving Inc has 5 Houston Locations as well as our online defensive driving course!

Humble | Katy Freeway | League City | Sugar Land | Willowbrook